Sex Ed in Bed
All American Gay
By Jallen Rix, Ed.D. (c).
Do homophobes have the right to voice their opinion? You bet! This is America and here, we all can speak our minds freely. Do I wish they’d keep their bigotry and sexism to themselves? Sure! And if they had some level of respect for diversity they’d know better because they sound more like hateful terrorists rather than freedom-loving Americans. This is an idea that the LGBT community all too often lets slip by. When an ignorant TV actor says some ridiculously mean statements about “faggots,” I believe we have got to be more assertive in speaking out where hate will take us. Especially after what has horribly transpired at Virginia Tech. Hmmm... let’s compare: You’ve got an out football player who deeply loves his life partner and their kids. Then you have a basketball player who publicly says that he hates gays and wants them out of the country. Which one do you think is more likely to pick up a gun and shoot someone? It ain’t rocket science, ladies and gentlemen.
Although we have every right to say what we want, hate still can lead to violence. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting we suppress anger. It is just one of our natural emotional responses from experiencing the world, just like happiness and sadness. If someone accidently steps on your foot, you might be in pain, but you’re probably not going to be too angry it was an accident. If someone continues to step on your foot over and over again, that would piss anybody off. Hate is when you don’t do anything about your anger. You don’t speak up. You allow it to build up. It festers inside you. You begin to want it and it becomes part of your identity. Eventually, if you don’t first die from over-stressing your heart or getting ulcers, your hate can explode into violence. Although this is one simplified example of how anger turns into hate, I hope you see my point. What’s more insidious is that fear can turn into hate the same way. Let’s say a mother has fears that all gay men are child molesters. If she does not voice her fear, if she allows it to just simmer in her consciousness, if she is not open to different viewpoints, if she refuses to let reality educate her fear, it will in fact become hate regardless if her original idea is imagined and unsubstantiated.
There is no better contemporary example of this kind of unfounded fear-festering than in, ironically, the followers of Jesus Christ. Supposedly, what makes Christianity different from other religions is that Jesus is a God who loves unconditionally. If that’s the case, the example American Christians have cast reflecting their God is deeply disappointing and laughable at the same time. These days, many fundamentalist christians have more in common with religious terrorists than they do with peace-loving Americans. They don’t mind disrespecting other religions and allowing the lines to be blurred between their church and state. In fact, some of them are actively pursuing it. Hmmm... who does that sound like Islamic Jihadists, the IRA, Palestinian Suicide Bombers, or Israeli Extremists? Take your pick. Mind you, I don’t think most religions are evil in themselves. It’s when a religion begins to be intolerant of diversity that gets all of us into devastating trouble. As the Shawnee Indian, Tecumseh said, “When Jesus Christ came upon the Earth, you killed Him. The son of your own God. And only after He was dead did you worship Him and start killing those who would not.”
And for those who haven’t forgot that this is actually a column about sex, I believe a sex-positive outlook and a respect for sexual diversity can play an important role in dispelling fear and hatred in our society. After all, wouldn’t the world be a better place if everyone’s sexuality was healthy and happy? Just think of the conflicts that would be nullified if we were all given the opportunity to have a respectful and satisfying sex life. That’s why I’m a sexologist, and that’s why I’m proud to call myself American. Although it’s hard to tell these days, ideally America is not about killing. America is the place where we give freedom for inspiration, independence, civility, and yes, even love. So when those folks get around to spitting their words of hate, let’s don our best red, white and blue and say, “Thank you, dear for your insightful perspective. You so remind me of Saddam Hussein. Please, please give peace a chance. Make love, not war.”
All content is © by RixArtz unless otherwise noted. Please obtain written permission before duplicating.