Sex Ed in Bed
The finer points of assisted male orgasm
By Jallen Rix, Ed.D. (c).
The responsibility of your orgasm should never be left in the hands of anyone but yourself. However, if you have the good fortune of someone present and willing to help out, all the better. Oddly enough, we might know exactly how we like to “climb mount baldy,” but try to coax out someone else’s joy jelly and we can often be all thumbs (which can work nicely if your partner wants a digit up the wazoo). Of course, there are those guys who’s giggle stick can be flipped simply by looking at it. The rest of us enjoy a little more finessing. So here’s some pointers to help you get your partner off and going.
The most important skill you can employ to pop your partner’s rod is active observation, much like active listening when you don’t just listen with your ears, but your whole being is participating in the experience. You’re going to be doing a whole variety of activities to get his hotdog a bubblin’ and when you do, you’ll want to observe and note the reaction since some things will quickly deflate the balloon and others will have him squealing like a pig. After a while you’ll have a tool belt full of items to build up your buddy’s oil tower (if you’re into that sort of “construction worker” fantasy).
If he seems nervous or self-deprecating, try a well placed compliment like, “Your flexed and sweaty muscles look so hot.” Knowing you’re turned on by what he’s doing is a green light for him to shift into high gear all the more. If you notice him getting frustrated then gently acknowledge the pleasure he’s experiencing like, “Yeah baby, all you have to do is enjoy how good your cock feels.” Cumming or not cumming needs to be a win/win scenario, because the goal is always pleasure.
Another tried and true method is varying the speed and pressure of your strokes. Doing the same thing over and over can actually numb out what you’re rubbing. If your hand becomes tired in the process, don’t just take a break and make him do it himself. Instead with your sexiest whisper, ask him, “Show me how you do it.” While you take a break notice what he’s doing and again compliment him on his technique, “Ah, dude, polish that surfboard.“
Never interrupt an orgasm. If your finger is hula dancing up his anus as he starts to squirt, don’t stop! It might be the very bringing on his orgasm. I had a partner that at my moment of no return, he tried to push my hand aside so he could get his mouth in position to suck me dry. Now it would have been one thing if this was our agreed plan of attack, but if I’m becoming “one with the cosmos,” don’t get in the way of my euphoria for your own gain, bee-atch! Give me respect and honor in that heavenly moment and I’ll do right by you, too.
Furthermore, if it’s your hand that’s getting his juice to jump, when he hits his high note, (once again) watch very carefully for him to signal what to do next. Some guys want you to instantly stop while they free fall into bliss. If he want the longest orgasm he can muster, you’ll want to keep doing exactly what you’re doing. Let him ride it as long as possible. Don’t stop until he signals. You’ll know when if you’re watching for it. But when that signal comes, don’t move. Don’t clean up. Wait for him to move out of the space. If your rod is up his arse, do not withdraw. Wait for him to dismount. It’s an orgasm! Let him savor the moment and the afterglow.
Speaking of which, it is important to recognize the natural chemical down-swing after an orgasm. During an aroused and orgasmic state a lot of endorphins are burned up. As a result, when the body returns to its routine functions we’re left with a lower amount of our natural “happy drug.” Depending on the metabolism, it can take anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours to restore this depletion. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve told this to guys and watched a sense of relief wash over their faces. “Oh! It’s not about guilt or shame, but it’s chemical!” So the next time you find yourself helping out, keep your antennas up (as well as the one between your legs), watch for the signals and enjoy the fireworks. Then say, “My turn!”
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