Sex Ed in Bed
A Quick Crazy Communication Quiz
By Jallen Rix, Ed.D. (c).
“Conrad” and “Jack” have gone out on a couple of dates and the last one happily ended in Conrad’s bed. They’re excited about their connection but there hasn't been too much thought about their future together. In planning their next get-together, Jack has begun to use the word “love” when describing his affection for Conrad. This makes Conrad uncomfortable because he wonders if Jack is prematurely assuming they are a couple. If you were Conrad, you would...
A. Get freaked out by “Jack the Stalker,” stop returning his calls and ignore him in public.
B. Inform Jack that it’s way too early in a relationship to use that word and he must therefore wait until at least the tenth date to start using it.
C. Care less about what Jack says just as long as he keeps feeding you his hot creamy man tube.
D. Tell Jack your discomfort with the word, “love,” and ask him what he means by it.
Although there are no wrong or right answers, this sexologist would suggest answer “D.”
Come to find out, Jack believes that there is not enough love in the world especially in this day and age and he feels it’s important to not be afraid to use the word sparingly. However, Jack also understands how this could make Conrad uncomfortable. Because Conrad was brave enough to bring it up, Jack can reassure him that there is no expectation attached to his use of the word “love.” When using certain “buzz” words, you often have to explain yourself so others can better understand you.
Pam and Janet are dating and in their last conversation Pam asks if Janet would like to go to the movies this weekend. Janet said, “Yes, it would be fun to go to the movies.” A few days go by and before you know it, it’s Sunday night. When Pam realizes she did not hear from Janet about the movie she wonders if Janet really likes her or not, after all she did say she wanted to go to the movie but never followed up. If you were Pam, you would...
A. Call Janet Monday morning and coldly tell her how disappointed you are.
B. Wait until Janet calls you and then really let her have it.
C. Call several friends and let them know just how undependable Janet is.
D. Realize that if you wanted to go to the movies with Janet then you should pick up the damn phone yourself and invite her to the movies.
Once again, I suggest answer “D.” Just because Janet said she would like to do an activity doesn’t suddenly obligate her to do all the footwork. Clearly hear what is being said, not what you would like to hear. If in doubt, use the active listening technique and repeat back what you think you heard. In this example, Pam might say, “So Janet, what I’m hearing you say is that you want to go to the movies and you’ll call me to make the plans.”
Traci and Kelly are having an argument about how little attention Traci is giving to the relationship. After going in circles for an hour, Kelly finally says, “We don’t seem to be getting anywhere about this. I’m frustrated because we’re having trouble communicating effectively.” If you were Traci, you would...
A. Feel attacked by this as well, and respond, “Oh! So now you think I’m a bad communicator too!”
B. Respond with, “I got your good communication right here...” and flip Kelly the finger as you stomp out of the room.
C. Alternating between sobs and cries say, “You’re just giving up. You’re the one who doesn’t want to communicate.”
D. Take a big breath, agree that the argument is indeed running in circles and therefore take a “time-out” from each other.
Obviously, I suggest answer “D.” You are truly a highly skilled communicator that whilst feeling attacked, you can still hear the truth in your opponent’s words, and find what you both agree on. Plus, taking a break from an argument usually gives perspective.
If you answered all of the above questions correctly (like communication is that simple) you...
A. Win the daily double jackpot, the trip to Hawaii, a new car and a blow job from the porn star of your choosing (in your dreams!).
B. Really do expect too much if you think you’re going to get a prize for answering all these questions correctly.
C. Probably have a healthy understanding about expectations and communication, go forth and responsibly spread thy seed with voluptuous pleasure!
D. All of the above!