Sex Ed in Bed
Laughing in bed, part 2
By Jallen Rix, Ed.D. (c).
Sex is fun. No, really! It is arguably the most fun adults can have, right? Yet, to proclaim sex to be a way in which adults play, sounds kind of odd. I may get some strange looks if I said that my special someone is coming over tonight to play. Although, that’s exactly what’s going to happen. Why can’t adults play? We play athletic games, board games and brain teasers. Why can’t the thing we enjoy most be play too? It seems our centuries-old belief that pleasure is frivolous quite literally takes all the fun out of sex, when its playfulness is indeed essential.
Now I’m not referring to the phenomenon of couples talking like babies to each other. If that’s your thing, knock yourself out. However, listening to a couple of beefy men say oochy-goochy, cutsie-tootsie baby-talk to each other is like listening to nails on a chalkboard, but that’s just me. What I’m referring to is that sex can get to be so serious and focused that it can also become over-dramatic and rigid. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with intensity and focus, but if it feels routine or limiting, here are some ways the you can cut loose and, well... have some fun.
Set some time aside an evening or afternoon out of the week. Real fun doesn’t always happen on the sly, and it sure isn’t going to always show up at the end of your busy work day. Make this time yours, not to just do the same old thing, but it’s your time to have a sexual adventure. Play hard, baby!
Variety, as they say, is the spice ‘o life, and it can make your sex life spicy hot. Really think about what activities would totally push you over the edge, and then go there. Try dressing up sexy in front of a mirror. If you have a partner, share your sexual dreams with each other, and then go there. Wrestle like a couple of teenagers as if your parents are out of the house. Aggressively explore each other’s body like a couple of orally curious puppies. And nothing breaks the ho-hums like a good tickle fest!
Are you the kind of person who just wants a hand or an arse to get you off? Bor-ing! Play with toys. Use some of that time you set aside to go on a field trip to your nearest erotic shop. There’s harnesses, vibrators, and lubricants Oh, my! And take your partner or a couple of friends. Just think of the exciting insights you’ll learn about them and yourself.
Play with games. A while back I was invited to be a guinea pig in trying out a new sex game an acquaintance was perfecting. A group of us took turns drawing a card from a special deck. Each card suggested an alluring task, like take a piece of clothing off, tell a sexual secret, etc... It seemed almost too simple, but as we got in the spirit of things, and as activities got more steamy, without a doubt, everyone enjoyed themselves. Games can create parameters of safety to explore new experiences together.
Are you the kind of person that just having a partner chuckle in mid-sex is enough to ignite your insecurities and shut you down? I’d guess you’re also the kind of person that when a grin crosses your partner’s face you ask, “What?” because you assume he’s internally laughing at you. And if your partner smiles a lot, well then you’re asking him, “What?” all the time. Sheesh! To you I say, “Chill out, get a sense of humor, get some self-esteem and maybe some therapy.” Happiness expressed by your partner is not your ill fortune. In fact, you’re lucky enough to have someone to connect with, so why don’t you get happy, too. If you should accidently cum in your ear (as my gorgeous fag hag’s hunky boyfriend did recently) and you have a good laugh about it, notice that your self-esteem is still intact. Why, it’s not even under attack. What happened is just plain funny, and actually, quite impressive. You created a game all your own score two points!
I once had a partner who giggled in bed a lot. I even wondered if it was a kind of nervous tick. When finally I asked him about it, he answered me surprised, “I’m just having fun, aren’t you?” With that, I left my insecurities on the floor with my clothes and we laughed our way to mutual orgasms and chuckled well past the afterglow.
All content is © by RixArtz unless otherwise noted. Please obtain written permission before duplicating.